I have been asked, “HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF BED EACH DAY AND DO WHAT YOU DO, GIVEN YOUR CURRENT SITUATION?”
In other words,
How do I keep going day after day and still smile? How do I handle being looked at with such pity? How I cope being treated like my life has less value?
The short answer ..
I hustle in pursuit of my vision!
Let me explain..
Continuing on from my previous post and in response to this question, I had to learn to let all the sh!t go.. in fact, new sh!t come up every day where I need to catch myself in the moment and figure out whether it’s for me or not and not react.. but at the same time own my truth. Yeah for sure, some days are better than others but the brighter the light, the longer and greater the shadow right?!
I have cried many many tears of despair and I must say, the more I empowered the power within, the less I cried. The more I learn to accept myself in this experience, the easier it is to not only get through the day with a smile but also have elevated emotions to inspire others. The more I choose to love myself and connect with Source (especially during those challenging days) the more energetic bonds I break with people and things that’s no longer a vibrational match – in so doing, become more of who I am meant to be. This, I’ve learned, creates space to allow that which is actually meant for me to flow with more ease.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not have it all figured out.. I fall from Grace all the time, I have my moments of uncertainty and frustration cos this sh!t is really hard but I catch myself much faster now than I did before. I absolutely have ‘fuck-it’ days. I give myself permission to feel it all, to express it all and then I allow myself to come back into balance with more grace and ease. I’m not just talking about the physical struggles that comes with a diagnosis, the emotional part of it is hard too.. if not harder.
… ever been kicked while you’re down?
… ever felt like you’ve gone way beyond rock bottom?
… ever been told you’re not good enough knowing deep down you have what it takes?
… ever suppressed a gut feeling for the sake of others?
Yeah, it hurts like hell! But each tear has a lesson. Choose to renew your mind, flip the switch and rise stronger than before.
To trade in all the frustration, resentment, anger, etc. (all those survival emotions) for love, gratitude, awe, etc. (all those yummy creative emotions) is not only next level, it takes freaking guts! I was caught way off guard by this diagnosis for sure. The plans I had for myself.. for my family, came shattering down like broken glass and bit by bit.. piece by piece I’m learning to put Tenille back together again… authentically! I had to learn that this path came to me for me to do exactly that, resurrect my soul and reinvent myself. The hard part is getting back into a state of well-being and staying there (letting go of every thing, accepting this experience, appreciating the path, love and trust the process and create from a higher level of mind)
To do this takes vulnerability and courage – one cannot be courageous without being vulnerable first. When I found myself in the midst of my most vulnerable state, I had no choice but to scrape up every ounce of courage within me to pursue my vision – I still do this. Believe me when I say this:
You are going to piss some people off when you finally take your power back
Because now, you’re no longer doing what’s considered as “the best solution for everyone”… no no, you’ve gone against that.. you’ve disrupted THEIR plan for YOUR life. When you’re truly stepping into your power, it’s going to feel like everything is falling apart when in fact everything is falling right into place. And you WILL be tested.. Why? Well, the assignment that has been placed on your life requires you to expand and grow.. it’s what happens when you choose YOU.
The best inspiration often comes wrapped in sandpaper.. let it hurt and let it heal.
You may be thinking so what does owning one’s magnificence really mean?
It means to truly connect with your inner guidance system and truly SEE and FEEL that you are enough.. you’ve always been enough. Breathe as you feel into the realization that it’s just been clouded by your thought that other people’s opinions / perceptions mattered more to you than your own.. and by absorbing the energies around you instead of standing in your own power and radiating your own beautiful energy, is giving your power away and therefore diminishing your magnificence.
In my opinion (this is purely from my experience only) to keep going:
- Requires so much self-love : out of all of the amazing people in my life, I’m most grateful for myself. I know that may come across as selfish or vain but the truth is, I wouldn’t be here typing this right now if it wasn’t for my past self saying yes to my soul when I didn’t know what to do.. trusting that inner knowing instead of doing what others thought was best for me .. believing that my life was worth fighting for even when others didn’t .. that possibilities exist if I didn’t get off the floor.
Back then, I didn’t acknowledge that I was being my own cheerleader, supporter, biggest fan even when I needed a hype girl in my corner. Now, when I count my blessings, I count myself twice because that’s the kind of self-love I didn’t know I needed in my life a few years ago.
Your life is precious beyond measure. Don’t let anyone make you feel like your life is insignificant just because you have a diagnosis. If that happens, love yourself enough to do the work it takes to get you from where you are to where you want to be. This can’t happen without,
- A relationship with Source: this is where we find the intrinsic truth of our being. The Presence that’s never in absence, looks into the mirror of our souls shining back and our role is to see how the Infinite Presence sees us … pure, beautiful, blissful love.
- Requires a clear vision : it was a game changer for me when I received my vision. No matter what, it is something you just cannot shake.. it will fuel you.. it will pull you out of bed in the morning.. it will be presented to you when you least expect and it will be outside of your present paradigm. Do not conform to naysayers.. not everyone will get your vision and that’s ok. Your vision was given to YOU. Infact, use that negativity as motivation to meet the next best version of yourself. Sometimes you gotta be your own cheerleader.
- Requires a tribe: ooooo yes yes yes yes yes yes and yes! There will come times when you feel so alone, like your world is crashing, like life is unfair and no one cares. But when you get out of your own way, you’ll see beauty within yourself and all around you. Your tribe will show up in ways that you would never have imagined. We often want to control every facet of our lives but when your energy automatically vibes with another and you feel “at home”, that’s when you know you found a member of your tribe. Trust your heart, it knows better.
PS.. Embrace your uniqueness, No Matter What!
With so much love
TK ♡