I have come to realise that a healing process of any kind is exactly that, a process. A process which can be messy, confusing, lonely and so frustrating.. But we all have a choice during this process to either swim against the current and stay in the same spot or surrender and flow with the current. For me, surrendering is not about giving up or giving in to any diagnosis. Surrendering is about letting go of the oars and giving in to love – that which is trying to flow to you and through you. Surrendering is not giving into other people’s opinions and perceptions of what they think is best you – people can only truly advise based on their experience and level of awareness. Surrendering is giving yourself permission and allowing yourself to be guided on the path of least resistance – which is the path of your greatest joy, love and expansion. Surrendering can be extremely scary but when your back’s against the wall and you’re done resisting and controlling, the surrendering process almost happens naturally. I find myself surrendering deeper the less I try to and the more I open my heart.. breathe, trust and let go.
I have come through some really tough and crazy “ebb” moments. I have had a good couple of ugly “bathroom floor” cries when things just became too much .. you know those loud ugly snotty cries where you just don’t care who sees you, when you just had enough? Yeah, those ones! I didn’t always have a shoulder to cry on or someone telling me ‘I got you, cry, let it all out’ or someone asking me ‘hey, how can I support you’…
So during those dark nights of the soul, I knew I had to empower myself to get myself out of that state of being which was excruciatingly hard, lonely, uncomfortable and so frustrating. It took reaching deep within the core of my being to find the strength to get myself off the floor to a sitting position.. bravery and positive self talk turned my sit into a crawl.. and eventually a stand. I have been living my life with my guard up all the time which made it extremely hard to allow the great power within to flow effortlessly and in its own accord. I hit breaking point one day at my physiotherapists’ practice. She graciously allowed me space to let it all out (in whichever way shape or form) ‘cos she knew I was suppressing additional emotions which only made matters worse – dealing with the impact my condition has on everyone else’s lives as well was enough to create deep depression within anyone.
My external environment at the time played a massive role in how I was feeling inside and how I showed up in my life. Absorbing and gravitating to the hurt around me and perceiving and receiving hurtful words, beliefs* and actions felt like what I can only describe as being pierced by a thousand daggers right through the heart. This made it impossible to feel worthy to even exist.
I knew I was deep in my ebb and I was losing myself. My physio suggested that I try “The Journey by Brandon Bays”. I immediately made an appointment with an amazing practitioner close by. Not only did my practitioner help me navigate my way through my ebb, we also did a process where I uncovered my soul purpose which propelled me to be appreciative of the experience that was there to give me the opportunity to give birth to a new desire and keep my focus on that. I still find this to be a daily practice.
Following modalities such as The Journey, Energy healing with Amy B Scher, Reiki with really beautiful masters, reading, etc.. and as I learned how to be more in flow, I would receive digestible nuggets of information on what I need to work on in order for more to flow.. more of what’s in alignment with my purpose, congruent to my vibration. I realised that the power lies in the moving forward no matter what has been or what is. The easier the flow becomes, the better I understand that I needed every one of the amazing beings on my path to wake me up to love myself more unconditionally.
We are all powerful eternal beings who are always evolving and vibrating at different frequencies and so daily I strive to tune into a frequency that raises my vibration in order to grow into the woman I’ve always known myself to be. I resonate with and learn from phenomenal people like these to raise my vibration :
Dr Joe Dispenza
Lisa Nichols
Jay Shetty
Amy B Scher
Joel Osteen
Oprah Winfrey
Robin Sharma
The teachings of Abraham Hicks ……
Gosh! There’s just too many to mention. Through the wisdom of great beings like these, I am learning how to tap into the power that already exist within.
As you try to navigate your way through your own ebb and allowing yourself to truly enjoy the beautiful effortless flow of life – the way it’s been intended by Source, one may find that it takes a strong will and an enormous amount of courage to love, understand, staying present, accept and honour your Ebb and Flow. It’s a daily practice but it is possible. Whenever I catch myself in ebb mode, I turn my attention this incredibly powerful scripture “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Meditation, Yoga and Energy Therapy is what got me flowing in my flow. Find what resonate with you and follow your bliss.
With so much love
TK ♡
PS.. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
*beliefs – just as a side note, some of the insanely harmful beliefs we unconsciously inflict on others especially our beautiful kids are “big boys and girls don’t cry” or “suck it up, I don’t have time for your tears right now” – this is a topic on its own which I’ll dive into in a next blog